Apologies, Complaints and Saying No Politely

Not every message is easy. You will sometimes make mistakes and need to apologise. You will sometimes have to complain about a late delivery or a wrong invoice. You will sometimes have to say no to a request, or deliver bad news. These moments are where good English matters most, because the wrong tone can hurt a relationship. This lesson gives you a calm structure and exact phrases for each situation.

Apologising for a mistake

A good apology has four parts: say sorry, say what happened in one clear sentence, say how you will fix it, and say how you will prevent it. Do not make long excuses and do not blame others.

Subject: Apology: error on invoice 1042

Dear Mr Khan,

I am sorry for the mistake on invoice 1042. The quantity was entered
as 50 instead of 15, and so the total was wrong.

I have attached a corrected invoice. Please ignore the earlier one.
To avoid this in future, a second person now checks each invoice
before it is sent.

Thank you for your patience.

Kind regards,
Rohan Mehta

Light:   Sorry for the delay in replying.
Normal:  I am sorry for the mistake.
Strong:  I sincerely apologise for the inconvenience this has caused.
Do not:  Sorry, but it was not really my fault... (this cancels the apology)

For small things, a short Sorry about that is enough. For serious errors, use a stronger phrase and say what you are doing about it. Take responsibility. People forgive mistakes more easily when you are honest and act quickly.

Making a complaint politely

A complaint works better when it is calm, factual and clear about what you want. Anger makes people defensive. Facts make them act.

Subject: Complaint: order 5521 not delivered

Dear Customer Service Team,

I am writing about order 5521, which I placed on 3 June. The
delivery date was 10 June, but I have not received the goods, and
I have not had a reply to my two earlier emails (6 and 8 June).

I would like to know where the order is, and to receive it by 14 June.
If this is not possible, I would like a full refund.

I would be grateful for a reply by Wednesday.

Yours sincerely,
Rohan Mehta

• State the facts: the order number, dates, what happened.
• Say what you want: delivery, refund, replacement, correction.
• Give a deadline.
• Keep the tone firm and polite. Avoid insults, capital letters and threats.
• Keep a copy of your messages and receipts.
• If the company does not answer, look for the formal complaints process, a consumer protection office or an ombudsman in your country.

Saying no

Refusing is a normal part of work. The skill is to say no without damaging the relationship. A useful pattern: thank, say no clearly, give a short reason, offer an alternative.

Thank you for asking me to join the project.
Unfortunately, I cannot take it on at the moment, because I am
working on the year-end accounts until 30 June.
I could help in July, or I can suggest a colleague who might have time.

I am afraid that is not possible this week.
I would like to help, but I cannot finish it by Friday.
Unfortunately, we cannot offer a discount on this order.
I understand your request, but I cannot approve it. I will ask my manager.

I am afraid is a polite way to give bad news, and it does not mean you are afraid. Unfortunately also softens bad news. Do not say only No. in writing. It sounds cold. Do not promise something you cannot do just to avoid saying no. It causes more trouble later.

Giving bad news

I am sorry to tell you that the shipment has been delayed by a week.
The delay is caused by a problem at the port. We will send the new
date as soon as we have it.
I understand this causes difficulties, and I will keep you informed.

• Say it clearly near the start. Do not hide the bad news at the end of a long message.
• Say what is known, and what is not yet known.
• Say what you are doing, and when you will update them.
• Be kind. Show that you understand the effect on the person.

Disagreeing politely

I see your point, but I have a different view.
I am not sure I agree. Could we look at the figures again?
That is a good idea. Another option might be...
I understand, however I am concerned that...

Handling a message that makes you angry

1. Do not reply at once. Wait an hour, or until the next day if you can.
2. Read it again. Sometimes the tone is less hard than it first seemed.
3. Write your reply, then remove any emotional or personal words.
4. Ask a trusted colleague to read it if the matter is serious.
5. Send it, or talk to the person by phone or in person if the email has become a quarrel.

Your task

1. Write a short apology for a late reply, and a longer one for an error on a document.
2. Write a polite complaint about a late delivery using the four parts: facts, what you want, deadline, polite tone.
3. Write two refusals: one to a colleague who asks for help at a bad time, and one to a customer who asks for a discount.
4. Practise saying each one aloud with a calm voice.

How to check it worked

• Your apology does not blame anyone and says how you will fix it.
• Your complaint states the facts and what you want in a calm voice.
• Your refusals offer an alternative if possible.